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Gavias Blockbuider Meet our adoptive parents

Meet our adoptive parents

We're with our adopters every step of the way and are on hand to give support through their adoption journey but we know that when it comes to adoption, hearing other people's experiences is helpful.

What adoption means to us

Adoption was always on the table

Gill and Kevin share their experience of adopting siblings into their family


Why did you decide to adopt with Angus Council?

"A couple of reasons. We wanted to have a relatively local child, that was the main driver.
 
"We applied to a couple of local authorities. We got Angus Council’s information pack, sent that away and then one of the lovely social workers Katy came out to see us and we had a good chat with her. We asked lots of questions because we were quite naïve about adopting." 

What was the process like?

"After speaking with Katy, we then booked in to do a training session. We had plenty of time to come to terms with the fact we were going to have a different kind of family structure. I'm a reader and a learner, so did lots of research. Lots of books and courses online, just to get a bit of an understanding of the children and the families and how people end up in the circumstances that they're in. The training sessions was quite intimate but were really awesome.

"From the day we submitted the application to the day our son moved in, it was a year and a day. Was a lot faster than we thought but it didn’t feel like it at the time."

Adopting siblings

"The main reason we decided to be open to have siblings was we both come from sibling families. We grew up with siblings, I’m very close to my brothers and sisters and I think we just wanted to help as well. It's difficult because once you know that there's a sibling there, you want them to be together. So, we knew when we were getting our son that he had a younger sister"

"We had our son for nine months before his sister came to live with us. There was a lot of sibling rivalry at the start, a lot of jealously but they do like a lot of the same things, like taking the dog for a walk which is great."

Matching and moving in

"Once we were approved it was a matter of waiting to get a phone call to say we’d been matched with a child. We got that call in the September and got a couple of pieces of information on the phone, like his age and then our social worker sent over more information about him, his circumstances, personality, things he liked etc and we knew he was a perfect fit for us.

"His foster carers shared lots (and I mean lots) of pictures and videos, which was really lovely. It started to feel a bit more real. And of course, we actually got to meet him, which was absolutely amazing. After that we had a matching panel. We then built-up spending time with him more gradually before he came to live with us.

"For our girl, once matched, she moved in quite quickly. It was a bit quicker because we’d been doing sibling contact, so she knew us."

What did it mean to adopt

Were there any challenges?

"There have been a few challenges for sure. Our first adoption was plain sailing, in that we were approved and matched, and he moved in – it was quite straightforward.

"The challenges weren’t really with the process, most were due to Covid and lockdowns. Challenging in that we had a very active little boy who couldn’t go anywhere. Couldn’t go to the park or soft play. But it was also a good thing because we were together so much.

"The challenge with our girl was again due to Covid. She hadn’t really been out much while with her foster carers, had never been to a play group, social gatherings etc so was a little bit cautious when we could get out and about.

"And then the added situation of having the two of them – both under three."

Support available

"There’s lots of support from Angus Council - we really couldn't fault the process. The training was really good and useful as well, both pre and post adoption. Going through techniques, therapeutic parenting, learning about attachment etc. It gave us things to look at, as we wanted to make sure we have the best relationships with our kids. It helps quite a lot. Everybody was very approachable, really nice and down to earth and understanding.

"We still go to adoption support groups and speak quite regularly with the kid’s social worker."

What would you say to someone thinking about adopting?

"I would say definitely go and find out about it. One of the things that probably helped us was the fact that there was never any pressure for quite a long time. You get your info pack, no pressure, then you go on your training, no pressure. I think having the process where you're not committing for quite a long time really helps because you can take a moment to just breathe even though we were kind of quite adamant all the way through that this is what we wanted."

What has it meant to your family?

"My family love the kids. My sister is a nursery teacher, so she loves kids anyway, she thinks they're the bee's knees. My other sister has a little boy, so that's actually quite nice. They boys are just obsessed with each other. They play together, being cousins and being so close in age which is really nice. All the grannies are just over the moon."